Christmas isn’t always a happy time for people. So many people dread getting together with extended family, yet most of us still do it! Here are some thoughts to keep the peace this Christmas.
I know how challenging it can be when you’re around people who are so different to you, and on a completely different wavelength.
So, this Christmas, when you’re amongst certain family members and you’d rather be somewhere else, you can see it as an opportunity to do things differently.
What’s difficult in life is to stay centred when somebody does or says something that tempts us to close our hearts because their heart was closed. That is hard. But that is also how we grow. We go through those circumstances in order to evolve into people who can hold to our loving centre no matter what the world throws at us.
The way I see it, situations like this are opportunities for us to expand. It’s an opportunity to practice certain qualities that we can strengthen within ourselves, such as respect, kindness, compassion, acceptance and non judgement.
The first suggestion I have is to go into the situation feeling good. When you feel good about yourself, magically, it makes it harder for the buttons to get pushed. Like who you are, know that you’re a good person — and most importantly, be humble in this knowing.
Be the best version of yourself by treating others well.
You can be respectful of your differences.
Accepting of others just as they are.
There’s no need to convince someone else of your point of view.
Avoid judging people, just as you would prefer that no one judges you.
There’s no right or wrong way to live this life, everyone has the right to make their own choices.
Everyone is at a different point on their path. No one is better or worse. At the end of the day, we’re all spiritual beings having a human experience — without a handbook. We have no idea what someone else’s journey is like for them, or what life lessons they’re here to learn. So there’s no need to judge.
In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone. True self esteem and true humility arise out of that realisation.
It simply comes down to respect.
Respecting differences. Respecting other people’s choices. Respecting that we all have a right to choose.
Respecting that within each of us is a soul on a journey, doing our best, even when it doesn’t seem like it. Respect that soul within that human body.
If someone is rude or mean to you, as long as you know in your heart of hearts you did nothing to inflame the situation, then you can know that it’s their stuff and their pain coming out. With this awareness it’s easier to have compassion for that person. We can avoid taking on what others say to us, when we view it from this perspective.
If peace mattered to you more than anything else, and if you truly knew yourself to be spirit rather than a little ‘me’, you would remain non reactive and absolutely alert when confronted with challenging people or situations.
There’s no need for you to like this person, or people — it’s about looking at things a different way so that it’s easier for you to be around people you prefer to not be around.
It’s about finding a way for your wellbeing to take less of a hit. Because if you leave Christmas lunch or dinner being upset, then your wellbeing has taken a hit. You do this for you, and no one else.
And finally, you can know that you’ll be leaving soon!
Taking all of the the above into consideration, it can elevate our perspective, so that we can be in the situation, but not of it — if that makes sense. It enables us to avoid taking things personally, which can often be the cause of us getting upset.
By practicing respect, acceptance and non judgement, it contributes to our own inner peace as well as to the peace of the situation.
Wishing you a really great Christmas.