When a lack of self-worth holds us back—professionally or personally—it can often happen unconsciously. This conversation has the potential to bring awareness to an area of your life you may have a lack of self-worth in, so that you can make more conscious decisions in your life.
Have you ever had a that thought or an idea to do something, to start something, to change something, or to try something—it keeps coming up again, and again; it keeps tapping you on the shoulder, again and again. But then you find yourself a few weeks, a few months, or a few years down the track, and you still haven’t done it, or even started. It’s just been a thought in your mind.
If so, then, there’s a chance that it’s a lack of self-worth that’s been holding you back. As in, you haven’t felt worthy of it—whatever ‘it’ is. And if you think about, whatever ‘it’ is, there’s often an element of either allowing ourselves to be truly seen, or recognising our right to be truly happy.
We can often be unaware of the real reason why we sometimes stop ourselves from doing something that we’d really like to do. That’s when we’re making unconscious choices. When we make the unconscious conscious, we then have more choice about what we do next.
DnM quotes from Angela
“The experiences you’ve had, the lessons you’ve learned, the things that you’ve gone through—when you’re in the midst of them you don’t necessarily see the potential value for somebody else. It’s only on the other side of the chasm, so to speak, when you turn back around and look back at those experiences, and go, ‘I’ve learned a lot, I’ve grown a lot. This is something I can share.’ That’s the concept of skinned knees. We are teaching from our experiences.”
“It could be as simple as finding a better way to use LinkedIn. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It’s simply that you’ve fallen over a few times learning this, and your experience can shorten and sweeten the journey for another person.”
“A ‘Next Chapter’ business can be starting from scratch. It can also be a new chapter in the business that you already have; choosing to take it in a different direction, or turn the volume up on it because you can now at this stage of life that you’re at. It can be different things, though it really is stepping into the next version of you.”
“Alcohol took me off the path that I was meant to be on, and I’m now coming back to becoming the person I’ve always meant to be. I recognised the reason why I was in addiction was because my self-worth just didn’t exist. I’m still who I was, just without all that angst, and all that pain, and all that shame, and all that self loathing.”
“Self-worth is having an unconditional and loyal relationship with yourself. If you try things and they don’t work out, you don’t beat yourself up. You take care of yourself, so that you can lift up, be resilient and try again.”
“One of the things I noticed so often is that I could be working with women, and they were brilliant—their ideas were fantastic, their experience was strong, their skills were high, they understood the strategy—but it still wasn’t happening. It’s because that self-worth piece, or the disconnection from it, was holding them back. Because if you don’t believe you can, then you don’t. That was the missing piece.”
“I honestly believe our main reason for being here is to grow and help others. That waking up process of working back to reconnection with your self-worth—so that you can take consistent and confident action on those dreams and goals—is the most important work we can do. That releases you and puts you in possession of 100% of your personal power, and you can then choose to make that difference in the way you want to make a difference. I can teach you all about business models, strategies, marketing and visibility, but if you’re not connected to the value you create and the vision you have for utilising that, none of those strategies mean diddly-squat!”
“What’s that voice like in your head? I like to personify that inner critic, that voice. Give it a name. Mine’s Horrible Helga! We all have the voice running. Switching on your self-awareness is the first step of moving out of that, so make a commitment to listen for it. Over the next five days be aware of when negativity crops up in your internal thinking. What are you hearing and when does it come up? It can also be reflected in behaviours. Watch your behaviours and listen for the observations. You’ll start to see patterns, and then you can decide, ‘Are these serving me?‘ ”
“When you have self-worth, you don’t need external validation. You don’t fall apart without it. If we keep wanting other people to approve of us, we’re going to get disappointed. It’s far more important to approve of yourself. You are the person you spend all your time with.”
“If we are always relying on someone outside of ourselves to approve of our behaviours, we’re just going to be at the mercy of the world, as opposed to contributing to the world.”
“When you feel discontent in an area of your life, it’s a sign that you need to pause and look and ask yourself what it is you desire. It can be difficult sometimes for us to articulate what we want, so start with what it is you don’t want and then flip it. You don’t have to have all the answers, just an inkling of a new step forward.”
“Fear is normal. When you’re on a growth edge, stepping out of your comfort zone, there is going to be some fear. Don’t take fear as a sign that you should pull back. Take fear as a sign that it’s important, because we only care about the things that are important.”
Mentioned in this episode
- $10 off Angela’s book, ‘Your Next Chapter—Ditch your doubt, own your worth, and build the business you really want.’ Use the code: DEEP. Get the book here.
Connect with Angela Raspass
Angela Raspass is a Sydney-based business mentor, author and self-worth educator. She believes life is too short to not be doing the work in the world you’re here for, and promises you can “borrow her belief in you until you have it for yourself,” so you can take confident, consistent action in your biggest career, life and business goals.
From New Zealand to Australia, from a corporate career to motherhood, from freelance marketing to building an agency, from soul-destroying addiction to personal transformation and from business consulting to mentoring, she has a richly textured story with empathy, optimism and wisdom at its core which she shares in her book, ‘Your Next Chapter—Ditch your doubt, own your worth, and build the business you really want’.